My messy life

Have you ever seen how picture perfect some people are on their pictures? Whether in instagram, facebook, whatever social media there is? Have you ever wondered, hm why can't I look like that, why do they have to live the rich life? I know I do, and this is all the time. It is pretty sad. Do I wish I were someone else, yes the majority of the time. And I wonder to myself, why that is, why do I have these feelings. Why am I always angry at the people who are now doing well in their lives and I can't find a damn job. I was just as smart as they were, in try my best in the things I do, but why am I still in this position. I am just as great as they are. And so yea I often want to be someone else like the famous girl in the picture. I want there life and to reach that goal obviously I have to get off my ass and do something about it.

In recent study I have read on depression, and how the symptoms affect the person. And then I am wondering oh my god am I depressed? It said that depressed people and I quote from helpguide.org “ Depression is a serious condition that can impact every area of your life. It can affect your social life, relationships, career, and sense of self-worth and purpose. And for women in particular, depression is common. In fact, according to the National Mental Health Association, about one in every eight women will develop depression at some point during her lifetime. If you’re feeling sad, guilty, tired, and just generally “down in the dumps,” you may be suffering from major depression. But the good news is that depression is treatable, and the more you understand about depression’s particular implications for and impact on women, the more equipped you will be to tackle the condition head on.”

So am I depressed? I start looking at myself in the mirror and said you are not. But who knows. I could be; and is this why I feel like a big crap of nothing? I believe in faith and I always say that maybe God put me on this earth for something bigger, maybe I am in this position because I need to learn something?

Me Stephanie always just felt a little different than the other girls in the sense that ever since I was very little I always was obsessed with being an actor or singer now I'm 22 and still obsessed. Have you ever felt this, like you are different. Maybe everyone has. But going back to the depression thing because I obviously can't blog or write lol I try you guys, I really try. Anyways back to that depression thing I am definitely going to check that out very soon I will update you guys.

Well I guess in conclusion I will try my best to find me. I think that is what I need to do first I am 22 and need to figure out whom I am. Please if anyone wants to talk or vent do not hesitate. Email me livelaughbookss@gmail.com or my tumblr or instagram everything will be below. Love you guys will write more soon

Stephanie (live laugh bookss)

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